


I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You

by TonySawicki



Series: I'd Be Good for You [1]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Teasing, slight humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 23:42:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11885334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonySawicki/pseuds/TonySawicki
Summary: When Kaoru lets his bandmates set him up on a blind date, nothing about the evening goes the way he might have expected





	I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VNMS_Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VNMS_Lily/gifts).



> Now approximately fifty-seven million years ago, I promised VNMS_Lily a Kaoru/Toshiya fic, and because I am The Literal Worst, I am only getting around to finishing and posting it now. I seriously apologize and I hope you like it!!! It's the worst cliché ever and nothing special, but it... doesn't have Kyo OR Die in it, so that's weird and challenging for me at this point, haha.  
> Anyway, that's about it. Sorry I haven't had time to post as much lately, but I'll keep working on it and I hope everyone's having good things happen in their lives!  
> Enjoy!! xoxo!

Obviously the blind date hadn’t been Kaoru’s idea. Rather it was something Die had been suggesting for weeks, and when Kyo had finally voiced his support for the notion, Kaoru had been so startled by the vocalist’s apparent interest in his private life that he’d accepted—only to catch Die high-fiving Kyo out of the corner of his eye. In cahoots, the pair of them!

“Why did you help him trick me like that?” Kaoru had asked.

Kyo had only shrugged, a coy kind of look on his face. “There’s someone he really wants to set you up with; you might as well humor him.”

And now here he was, outside the chosen restaurant, humoring him. He’d have been lying if he said he wasn’t curious just who Die was so sure would be a great match for him. But Kaoru didn’t know how to _date_. It wasn’t something he did, and with a stranger he hadn’t even asked out himself? He rolled his shoulders back, took another drag of his cigarette. Pulling out his phone, he shot a text off to Die—“ _How exactly am I supposed to find my date once I’m inside?_ ”

Die texted back right away, “ _Back corner, left-hand side. Probably the only person in there sitting alone._ ”

“Right,” Kaoru muttered to himself as he put out his cigarette and tossed it in the bin outside the restaurant. He didn’t have anything witty to send back to Die, so he just put his phone back into his jacket pocket and pulled open the door to go inside.

He told the hostess he was meeting someone and started in the direction Die had said, all the way in the back and to the left.

Sure enough, there was a booth there with only one occupant, though they were facing away from him so he couldn’t make out anything but chin-length black hair. He slid into the seat opposite the loner before he could talk himself out of it, offering a quiet, “Sorry if I’m late; I was just having a smoke outside.”

“That’s all right, I wasn’t waiting long.”

Kaoru’s head jerked up at the familiar voice, and yes indeed, that was absolutely Toshiya sitting across from him, leaning his elbows on the table.

Kaoru sputtered for a moment. “W-what, what is this, a long-form prank, you’re _all_ in on it?”

“I was actually told it was a _date_ ,” Toshiya said back in a hushed voice, slanting his eyes to look around the restaurant as if someone might overhear them.

“Yeah, so was I,” Kaoru huffed.

Toshiya pursed his lips. “Hmm. You weren’t expecting to see me.”

“What, and you _were_ expecting to see _me_?!” Kaoru asked.

Toshiya paused before saying, “Does it make it better or worse if I was?”

Kaoru slouched back against his seat, running a hand through his hair. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Had you been expecting a woman?”

“I—” Kaoru stopped to think about it. Die had never specified that he was setting him up with a woman, and if he’d been working with Kyo, Kyo had known for years that Kaoru was bisexual. “I don’t know. Die was just setting me up. I didn’t know with whom.”

“A blind date?” Toshiya sounded a little surprised. “I wouldn’t have figured you as the type to go for those.”

“I’m not,” Kaoru said. “And I think I’ll call Die up right now and tell him off.”

“That makes sense,” Toshiya said. “It wasn’t a blind date on my end,” he added, looking down at the table.

Kaoru froze with his phone in his hand. “You mean you knew you were meeting me, specifically.”

Toshiya shrugged, then nodded. “It’s why I came.”

“But why would they even _do_ this?” Kaoru said, pushing aside for the moment that Toshiya had intentionally shown up to a date with him.

“Because they knew I had interest, and you need someone,” Toshiya said. “There was some discussion and it was generally agreed that I… would be good for you.” He gave a sheepish smile.

“Was Shinya in on it too?” 

“I think he’s the one who said you needed a date in the first place,” Toshiya said. “Don’t hold it against any of them, though. No one was trying to make fun of you. We just wanted to help.”

“But they didn’t tell you the whole plan either,” Kaoru pointed out.

“No,” Toshiya said a bit sadly. “I did wonder how they’d convinced you to go on a date with me. I guess I should have expected they’d have to trick you into it.”

“They didn’t even ask me!” Kaoru said defensively. “Maybe I wouldn’t have needed to be tricked!”

Toshiya quirked an eyebrow at that. “Really? If I’d just asked you outright, you would have gone on a date with me?”

“Well… Probably not,” Kaoru admitted. “I’m pretty hopeless when it comes to ‘dating.’”

“That’s not terribly surprising,” Toshiya said with a small smirk.

Kaoru laughed. “So then help me out here! What do we do next?”

“We eat, and we tell each other about our lives,” Toshiya said. “Or we skip it and you take me home.”

Kaoru’s breath caught at the unexpected heat suddenly in Toshiya’s gaze. “Oh! You mean… You would want to…?”

Toshiya gave a disapproving little click of his tongue and slid out of the booth. “You are far too tightly wound. Take me home so I can loosen you up some.” His tongue slid out briefly over his lips and then he turned and made a beeline for the restaurant’s exit.

Kaoru couldn’t help but feel that this evening had just taken a sharp turn in a bizarre new direction, but he was oddly okay with it. Toshiya was more attractive than he’d realized, and he was making Kaoru _want_ in a way that he usually told himself not to. He hurried up to the front counter, throwing down some cash for the drink Toshiya had ordered before he arrived, and then rushed after Toshiya. He found him waiting just outside, and after the briefest exchange of looks, Toshiya followed Kaoru wordlessly to his car, a small smile on his face that made Kaoru feel both nervous and excited.

To Kaoru’s surprise, once they were driving, Toshiya struck up an exceedingly _normal_ conversation. It didn’t feel weird at all, and Kaoru did in fact find himself slowly loosening up, laughing and discussing things more openly than he often did with anyone. It was… well, _nice_. From the wicked sort of glint in Toshiya’s eyes in the restaurant, Kaoru hadn’t really expected this laid-back, down-to-earth vibe from him, but as he thought about it he couldn’t tell why he hadn’t. Toshiya was always a sincere person and he’d always been easier to talk to than most of his other bandmates; less quietly judgmental than Shinya, less intense and expectant than Kyo... Toshiya's personality was just naturally easy to bounce against.

By the time they got back to Kaoru’s apartment however, his nerves had returned in full force at the _concept_ of bringing his _date_ back to his place. 

Toshiya didn’t take long to notice; he’d barely gotten his shoes off when his hands were on Kaoru’s shoulders, pressing and massaging. “You were just starting to relax,” he murmured as he dug his thumbs in a little harder. “Where did all this tension come from again? Is it me?”

Kaoru shook his head quickly. “It’s not _you_ specifically.” He hadn’t even set his coat down and he clutched it a bit tighter. “I just… dating. You’re here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, how to keep you entertained.” He grunted as Toshiya worked on a knot beside his shoulder blade.

“You don’t have to worry so much about entertaining me,” Toshiya said. He had both hands working the same knot now, his concentration focused. “I’m here because I enjoy your company, and I wanted to spend the evening with you. If that means watching a movie or playing a game of cards and falling asleep, I don’t mind. I’m pretty easy.”

Kaoru raised an eyebrow though Toshiya couldn’t see it from his position behind him. “You’re easy?” He chuckled. “Is that an invitation or…?”

Toshiya smacked the shoulder he’d been massaging. “Tsk, dirty mind! You’d better watch that.” He leaned in closer to whisper in Kaoru’s ear, “If you’re too naughty, I’ll think you’re looking to get punished.” He gave another smack to Kaoru’s rear end and then headed up towards the living room.

_Oh_. Kaoru’s mouth fell open as Toshiya slipped smoothly past him. The image of Toshiya punishing him took a while to fade at all from his mind. He could just picture Toshiya looming over him, telling him how _naughty_ he was, maybe even humiliating him some, completely removing Kaoru’s control. By the time he realized he was still standing in the genkan, holding his coat, he was terribly aroused, and decided to make something of a bold move.

He quickly hung his coat on a hook just inside the living room, and barely spared a glance at Toshiya where he’d settled himself on the couch before striding down the hall and straight to his bedroom. He looked around the space, checking for anything he wanted to keep hidden, and then went and sat down on the bed, facing the door. After a moment’s thought, he flipped on the lamp on his bedside table, and pulled his shirt off, tossing it towards the hamper by the closet across the room. He leaned back on his hands and hoped that Toshiya would realize he wasn’t returning and would come looking for him.

Luckily it wasn’t but a few minutes later that Toshiya’s footsteps were approaching down the hall, then his voice, calling out a hesitant, “Kaoru? Where did you go?” He appeared in the doorway and raised his eyebrows as he took in the scene before him. “What’s all this?” he said, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Well,” Kaoru said, just hoping he didn’t lose his confidence halfway through. “You weren’t offering an invitation, so I thought I’d issue one of my own.”

Toshiya smirked. “You’re adorable.” He walked over and easily straddled Kaoru’s lap, his long thighs on either side of Kaoru’s.

Kaoru gasped quietly as Toshiya pushed him back onto the bed with a gentle hand on his chest. He shivered a little as Toshiya leaned over him, making him feel small and helpless in a way that he honestly loved.

“You really can’t decide what you want, can you?” Toshiya said, tilting his head down, looking at Kaoru through his hair. “You need control so much that you lured me into your bedroom without so much as kissing me, but what you really _crave_ …” He licked his lips as he peered at him, then adjusted his arms so he was boxing Kaoru in even more, “Is _this_. You _need_ the control taken away from you for once, so you can get some _release_.” He lifted one hand to stroke down Kaoru’s neck, watched as he shivered again.

“You… could be right about that,” Kaoru admitted, shifting his hips in an attempt to get some friction against his steadily growing arousal.

Toshiya leaned down further, speaking almost against Kaoru’s lips. “I could be right about a lot of things. I could be exactly what you _need_.” He moved back just out of reach as Kaoru tried to lean up enough to kiss him. “But you have to _want_ me, too. So, tell me,” he said as he sat up fully, ground himself down just a little, “Do you want me, Kaoru?”

Kaoru had the passing thought that he should be embarrassed by just how fast he was unraveling with Toshiya on top of him, but it was replaced quickly by an overwhelming need to be _closer_ as he pushed his hips up again, his hands gripping Toshiya’s forearms tightly. “I want you. God, yes, Toshiya, will you—will you kiss me?”

“Hmm, think you could ask nicer than that,” Toshiya said, pouting slightly.

Oh god, and already he was making him _beg_. “ _Please_ ,” Kaoru said. “Please let me kiss you?”

So very slowly, Toshiya leaned down over him, and Kaoru fought the urge to surge up and claim his lips, instead waiting patiently for Toshiya to press his mouth against his.

Right away, Kaoru realized he should have expected this exact kiss from Toshiya. It felt the same way he played, low and sultry and powerful, but still playful and performative. It only served to further Kaoru’s desire for him as Toshiya kept a careful lead in it, always pulling just the tiniest bit away when Kaoru would get too greedy and try to take the reins from him.

That was an instinctive thing. It wasn’t that Kaoru actually wanted to take control away from Toshiya; on the contrary, he was absolutely enjoying the light kind of domination that was happening to him. He just had a hard time letting go of that urge to drive things, and he was kind of relieved that Toshiya wasn’t backing down and letting him get away with it.

Toshiya’s tongue pushed into his mouth, dragged slowly along the length of Kaoru’s own tongue in a way that had him moaning, had his cock throbbing in his jeans. It had been far too long since he’d had this with anyone, and the idea that it was _Toshiya_ here on top of him had Kaoru feeling as though he’d severed from reality at some point. Just as he was summoning the brainpower to push back against Toshiya’s tongue, to rock his hips up towards him, Toshiya pulled away and sat up, one hand splayed on Kaoru's chest again, a little less gently this time.

“Stay down,” Toshiya said.

Kaoru swallowed and let his hands drop to the bed, doing his best to let Toshiya take this wherever he would.

Toshiya took his time unbuttoning and removing his own shirt, and Kaoru kept his hands as still as he could where he’d let them fall at his sides. There was a devious little smile playing on Toshiya’s lips, making it obvious that he was intentionally being slow to increase Kaoru’s suffering. 

Kaoru wanted nothing more than to reach up and rip Toshiya’s shirt off the rest of the way, to take hold of Toshiya’s muscular shoulders and flip him over so he could get on top of him—or at least he was pretty sure that was what he wanted most. But then he pushed that down, thinking how much he enjoyed feeling small beneath Toshiya, and remembering the threat of punishment, and he just kept his eyes glued on Toshiya as his button-down slid off his arms and was tossed aside.

There was a pause then, as Toshiya just looked down at him, eyes searching so deeply that Kaoru had to fight not to look away, and instead tilted his chin up somewhat defiantly. Finally Toshiya smiled, and without further hesitation started to unfasten Kaoru’s jeans with nimble fingers.

It didn’t take long for Toshiya to practically tear Kaoru’s jeans down his legs and throw them to the floor, his underwear following closely. Kaoru barely had the chance to feel embarrassed and exposed before Toshiya was resettling himself between Kaoru’s legs, leaning down to kiss his stomach, lower and lower, as his hands traveled teasingly along Kaoru’s thighs. 

Kaoru watched him, unsure if he was allowed to even place his hands on Toshiya, but also not convinced he’d be able to move them if he wanted to, since part of him was paralyzed with just the sensations that he was experiencing. Toshiya’s mouth on him was so warm and light and always moving, never lingering in one spot long enough for Kaoru to get used to it. He knew where he wanted that mouth, and as Toshiya worked his way down, kissing Kaoru’s bellybutton and across to his hip, it seemed like he was very deliberately ignoring Kaoru’s erection, despite it being only inches from his face. Maybe he wanted Kaoru to beg again, and Kaoru thought he would be more than willing to do that, but he wanted Toshiya to order him to at the same time. He held back a shiver as he imagined the commanding tone Toshiya might use as he made Kaoru plead for his mouth on his aching cock—if he even let him have it at all.

Just as he was about to give in and start begging, Kaoru was distracted by Toshiya’s hand sliding up along the back of his thigh, finally coming to rest with a squeeze of Kaoru’s ass. 

“Oh,” Kaoru said breathlessly and his thighs spread wider without his permission. He caught the smirk on Toshiya’s face before he was pressing his mouth to the juncture of Kaoru’s thigh, teasing the sensitive area with his tongue.

Toshiya’s hand started moving again, under Kaoru, drifting until it reached the cleft of Kaoru’s ass. 

Kaoru’s heart was pounding, his mind racing as he felt Toshiya’s fingers brushing lightly over his hole, then moving up and back down to touch him there again. He didn’t know how to deal with it, to be perfectly honest. It felt good; he _knew_ it felt good, and that he wanted more, but it tended to be one of those things he told himself he couldn’t have. It was something that made him lose control too quickly, and he was generally too ashamed to play with his ass even when he was getting himself off. As Toshiya’s fingers prodded more confidently around the area, and then one started slowly to push past the tight ring of muscle, aided by lube Kaoru had been too distracted to notice Toshiya taking out of his pocket, Kaoru tensed and barely heard himself as he said, “ _Don’t_.”

Toshiya heard him though, stopping in his actions immediately and picking up his head from where he’d been kissing and biting at Kaoru’s inner thigh. He looked at Kaoru. “You want me to stop.”

Kaoru closed his eyes tightly and then looked back down at Toshiya, who was waiting with immense patience. “I…” His words didn’t seem to be ready to make an appearance.

Toshiya pulled his invading finger away and sat up, patient expression giving way slightly to concern.

Kaoru rolled his hips unconsciously, keeping back a frustrated sigh. He hadn’t really wanted Toshiya to stop. Maybe that was the whole problem: he knew he would _never_ want Toshiya to stop, that he’d want him filling him, _fucking_ him, and they hadn’t even discussed it. Plus Kaoru really didn’t usually let it get that far with guys. He was too self-conscious about just how much that kind of attention got him off. He wanted it from Toshiya though, and he wasn’t able to deny that to his mind any longer.

“Talk to me,” Toshiya said. "Use your words. I can’t go on if you don’t tell me what you want.”

“Okay,” Kaoru said, closing his eyes. “Okay. I… I don’t want you to stop. I just. It’s hard for me to relax, hard for me to let myself go, which… is kind of the whole point of this, isn’t it?” He opened his eyes to look at Toshiya, saw the smallest of smiles gracing his lips.

“It is.”

“There are things that I want that I guess… I think I shouldn’t, for some reason. I don’t need you to convince me or reassure me,” Kaoru said quickly, “But it’s hard to break myself out of that mindset, to be okay with someone seeing me, well, vulnerable in that way.”

"But after years of trusting me in the studio and onstage, you think maybe you can trust me here, too?” Toshiya looked mildly amused.

“Sure, we can go with that,” Kaoru said. More quietly he added, “Honestly I just don’t see the point in fighting how much I’d like you to fuck me.”

That had Toshiya grinning, and he leaned forward to kiss Kaoru’s lips again before he returned his attention to stretching and preparing him with his fingers.

This time Kaoru tried to just let himself feel it, enjoy it as much as he could, though some level of personal insecurity kept him from fully relaxing into it. He was still trying to hold himself together, even as he kind of hoped that Toshiya would break him—crack him open like an egg, and have his way with him.

Kaoru’s focus was elsewhere when Toshiya was finally swallowing down his cock, and so his moan came out rather louder and more uninhibited than he might otherwise have allowed. His embarrassment at the sound he’d let out only served to fuel his arousal, and he whimpered as his cock twitched in Toshiya’s mouth.

Looking down, Kaoru could see Toshiya bobbing his head over his length, the somehow innocent calm with which he sucked, his eyes closed and his hair falling around his face. He was beautiful, and Kaoru didn’t actually know how long he could keep from cumming like this.

Toshiya pulled off only a moment later, and licked his lips before letting out a low chuckle. “You’re close already, aren’t you? I’ve barely touched you and you’re ready to burst.”

Kaoru tried to shake his head, but just then Toshiya’s talented fingers grazed his prostate and he gasped so sharply it was almost a squeak, his cock leaking a little wave of pre-cum. 

Toshiya tutted disapprovingly. “Shameful, really. You’re not going to last at all. You’ll probably lose it before I even get my dick in you.”

With one more purposeful jab of his fingers to Kaoru’s prostate, Toshiya withdrew his hand and wiped it off on the corner of the bed sheet before moving at long last to undo his own jeans.

There was a dark flush spreading across Kaoru’s cheeks and down his neck and he pushed his hips up eagerly, opening his legs wider, trying to beg Toshiya for what he wanted without saying a word. His hands gripped the comforter uselessly as he wasn’t sure what he was and wasn’t allowed to touch.

Then again, Toshiya hadn’t _told_ him there was anything he couldn’t touch. He reached for Toshiya just as he got his jeans fully open, and before he could get his hands on anything good, they were pinned roughly over his head, and Toshiya was looming over him, all dark, glinting eyes and wickedly curving lips.

“Did I say you could do that?” Toshiya asked, his voice far too smooth and threatening.

“No,” Kaoru admitted guiltily.

“You had been doing so well, too,” Toshiya said, sounding faintly disappointed. “I thought you were going to be good for me.”

“I can be good,” Kaoru said quietly.

“I know you _can_ be, but it seems like you’d rather be naughty. Maybe you’re _trying_ to get punished.” Toshiya raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Kaoru couldn’t exactly deny that the idea of being punished by Toshiya was more than welcome, but he didn’t know how to confess as much either, so he just kind of squirmed beneath Toshiya, feeling shamefully bare and desperate. 

“Maybe you just need more of your control taken away,” Toshiya said, and it sounded so reasonable that it was almost surprising when he picked up his shirt from earlier and used it to bind Kaoru’s wrists together above his head, not leaving Kaoru a second to protest. “Now this time, when I say ‘ _stay,_ ’ I expect you to stay. Otherwise you won’t get what you want.”

“Oh,” Kaoru said. He didn’t think he could handle any kind of punishment that kept him further away from some form of release, but maybe some other time he could push Toshiya more and see what he’d do…

And here he was, already thinking about next time. He hoped this wouldn’t be their only time together but he sure hadn’t talked to Toshiya about it. They’d hardly discussed a damn thing before ending up like this, with Kaoru naked and tied up on his own bed underneath Toshiya, and maybe this was actually just what he’d been missing. He was always so careful, planned things so well, made sure the details came together—having Toshiya push him down and make him submit made him feel freer than he had in a long while, even with his hands restrained.

“If you need to get out for any reason, what will you say?” Toshiya said.

“Um… Kyo?”

Toshiya blinked a few times. “…The fuck?”

“It would get your attention, right?” Kaoru said, one corner of his mouth twitching. “Besides we’d know my mind wasn’t where it should be.”

Toshiya snorted, shaking his head. “That makes some kind of twisted sense, so okay, but I’d just as soon _not_ hear his name—or anyone else’s besides mine—while I’ve got my cock buried in you, yeah?”

“Hopefully it won’t come up,” Kaoru agreed.

“Now, back to what I was doing before I was so _rudely_ interrupted,” Toshiya said, sliding off the bed so he could pull his jeans down his impossibly long legs.

Kaoru was relieved that he hadn’t been ordered not to stare because he didn’t really stand a chance at fighting that impulse. Toshiya seemed to go on for miles and every inch of him was perfect, including his cock, which curved so beautifully up from his body, and Kaoru could imagine how it would feel inside him, stretching him, hitting all the right spots.

Toshiya climbed back onto the bed on top of Kaoru, but he kept shimmying up until he was straddling Kaoru’s chest. Kaoru hadn’t even realized that his mouth was hanging open until Toshiya was pushing the head of his cock past his lips, and Kaoru couldn’t help but moan at the taste of pre-cum on his tongue. 

“I always did like your lips,” Toshiya said, easing slowly in and out of Kaoru’s mouth. “I may have gotten off more than once, in fact, imagining you just like this.” 

Kaoru moaned again, unable to really respond in any other way besides hollowing his cheeks and sucking harder, his tongue pressing just under the cockhead. This hadn’t really been where he’d meant for Toshiya’s cock to be when he thought he wanted him inside him, but he couldn’t complain. Well, even if his mouth was available for him to complain, he wouldn’t. He felt degraded and helpless and somehow beautiful, and as Toshiya gave a little sigh and a shiver above him, he felt appreciated. He could almost ignore how his own cock was aching if he just focused on giving Toshiya as much pleasure as possible.

One of Toshiya’s hands came down to fist in Kaoru’s hair. “You know, I’m starting to like this color on you, too. I wasn’t sure at first, but—ah! Mm, good boy.” Toshiya’s grip tightened and then relaxed as Kaoru did something quite nice. He didn’t dictate the pace at which Kaoru moved his head what little he could; Toshiya’s hold on him was more a symbol of control than a real demonstration of it. “I do think it makes you look a little like a kpop star, though.”

Kaoru stopped at that, looking up at Toshiya with as sour an expression as he could muster. He dragged his teeth along Toshiya’s length, and Toshiya tugged at his hair, laughing.

“I didn’t exactly mean that as a criticism, you know. Some of those guys are pretty hot. And many of them are about half your age,” Toshiya said, shifting back to pull out of Kaoru’s mouth.

Kaoru coughed a couple times and licked his lips. “If that.”

“So maybe I’m saying your blonde hair makes you look younger.”

“Or maybe you’re saying I should go dye it back at my earliest convenience?” Kaoru arched an eyebrow.

“I told you, I like it!” Toshiya said. “But I’m not sure you’ve ever really had hair that looked _bad_ , honestly.”

“Unlike most of us in the band?”

“Maybe it wasn’t that good when you were hiding it under some kind of… giant… crustacean, or whatever that thing was,” Toshiya mused as he got off of Kaoru again and started moving down the bed.

“I haven’t ever put much value on it,” Kaoru said. “Hair, physical stuff in general.”

Toshiya narrowed his eyes for a moment. “I feel like that’s a blow at me.”

“No, what we were doing _earlier_ , that was a blow—”

Toshiya slapped Kaoru’s thigh lightly. “Hush.”

“I really didn’t mean it as anything aimed at you,” Kaoru said more softly. “Maybe just more as an excuse, something to cover up the fact that a lot of the time I feel pretty insecure about myself physically.”

Now a kind of pained confusion darkened Toshiya’s face. “ _Why_?” he asked earnestly, but then he shook his head and held up a hand. “No, you know, I don’t want to hear any explanation you could give because no matter what it is, it’s so sadly misguided. You’re fucking gorgeous, Kaoru, and you always have been, and that’s the truth.”

Kaoru smiled a little at that. For whatever reason, when Toshiya called him gorgeous he thought he could almost believe it.

“And here we are distracted again,” Toshiya sighed. “How can we get you back on track and keep you there?”

Before Kaoru could offer up any suggestions, Toshiya was kneeling on the bed beside him, slowly stroking his own cock in a manner clearly built to tease and work himself up rather than to actually gain any real satisfaction. It was a surprisingly effective way of completely emptying Kaoru’s mind of any real thought. He supposed he couldn’t be _actually_ surprised that Toshiya was good at putting on a show, but he could certainly struggle to keep his hands, bound as they were, down where Toshiya put them. As Toshiya’s head fell back and he let out a moan that _must_ have been exaggerated for Kaoru’s benefit, Kaoru tangled his fingers together, just to give himself something to hold onto, something to fight against. He couldn’t risk moving from where Toshiya had told him to stay, but watching Toshiya’s current display was getting to him a little more than he would have expected.

It seemed to go on forever. Toshiya would alternate between pushing his free hand back into his hair and using it to pinch and pull at his own nipples, and he was constantly biting at his lip except when his mouth was wide open to pant, or to moan Kaoru’s name, just to taunt him.

Kaoru was not above begging. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve this kind of treatment, but he was willing to offer anything he had to get it to stop and get Toshiya to touch him again. “Toshiya—Toshiya, what do you want me to do? Please, I’ll do whatever you tell me, I’ll be good, just please. I need you, please, touch me?” Kaoru normally took so much time thinking about the words coming out of his mouth, even as he said them. He wasn’t one to blurt things out without consideration, and while it was sort freeing to do so, it also left him feeling unprotected, like he’d gone too far out on a ledge and the path back to safety had crumbled behind him.

All at once, Toshiya was moving, freeing Kaoru’s hands, and then nudging his side. “On your hands and knees.”

Kaoru gave one last sad look down to his own flushed and neglected cock, and then rolled over as Toshiya had instructed, getting up on all fours and simply waiting for Toshiya to come and take him. He gasped as instead a hard smack came down on his ass. 

“You stopped me from pleasuring myself just so I would give _you_ attention,” Toshiya said. “Awfully rude of you.”

“I… I apologize,” Kaoru said, hanging his head in shame. When Toshiya put it that way, Kaoru really felt kind of bad, although no less turned on. “I just… needed you. Still need you.”

“So desperate. You’re pathetic.”

“Yes,” Kaoru whispered. His cheeks were burning and he knew his hair was too short to hide it no matter how low he hung his head.

Both of Toshiya’s hands were on Kaoru’s ass now, spreading and exposing him, the cool air making him shiver. “You do have a pretty little hole, though,” Toshiya said, and his voice was so much lower and darker than anything Kaoru was used to hearing from him.

“I… Thank you,” Kaoru said. By now he wasn’t sure what he wanted more; for Toshiya to start thrusting into him, or to just quietly phase out of existence so he wouldn’t have to own up to his own humiliation.

“You want me filling you, don’t you?” Toshiya asked then. When Kaoru didn’t answer, Toshiya went on, “I already know you do, so you might as well just admit it, you whore.” 

Kaoru didn’t trust his voice to make any response, so he just tried to present his ass more. Perhaps Toshiya accepted that, because a second later Kaoru heard the unmistakeable tear of a condom wrapper, followed by the wet sounds of lube as Toshiya spread it over his own cock.

“I still think you should ask me for it,” Toshiya said, sounding almost disinterested. “Nicely.”

Kaoru couldn’t help the whine that bubbled out of him before he was begging again, “Toshiya, please, fill me up with your cock, I need it. I’ll be so good for you, just _use_ me.” Unsure if he’d asked nicely enough he added another, “Please?”

He couldn’t tell how to feel about Toshiya’s laugh that followed, but before he could spend much time fussing over it, Toshiya was pushing into him, slowly but deliberately, as if he wanted to ensure that Kaoru felt every centimeter of his cock as it entered him. And Kaoru definitely felt it. Toshiya was hot and hard and the pain of what had probably been an overly-rushed preparation was sharp, shooting up Kaoru’s spine.

Kaoru kept his eyes shut tight, his fists in the comforter as his body gradually adjusted to the stretch, and the pleasure behind the burn became more prominent. As Toshiya bottomed out, his pelvis flush against Kaoru, Kaoru moaned, feeling stuffed and used and just imagining what they looked like, the picture they made together. He thought he might be able to cum from the mental image alone.

There was no more thought of trying to take control back from Toshiya as he started to move, still slow rolls of his hips, his hands holding Kaoru in place. It was oddly relaxing, even as every muscle in Kaoru’s body felt tense and every brush of his prostate had him wound tighter.

“God, Kaoru… _Leader—_ you feel so good, so _tight_ , fuck.” Toshiya’s voice came out breathy and strained, and one hand moved to grasp Kaoru’s shoulder.

Kaoru hadn’t even considered how it would feel to be called “Leader” while he was being _taken_ , to hear the title from Toshiya as he was literally fucking him, and he let out a half-sob as his cock twitched. “Oh, god…”

Toshiya didn’t say much else, as his focus was apparently focused on how intensely (which wasn’t to say that it was exactly hard or forceful) he was thrusting into Kaoru. He wasn’t focused only on his own pleasure though either; he paid great attention to just when Kaoru was shuddering and moaning particularly loudly, and tried to recreate those sensations for him again and again. After a few minutes he reached around and took Kaoru’s rigid cock in his hand, startling Kaoru so much that he cried out.

“I’ve got you, Leader-sama,” Toshiya whispered. “You’re doing so good, just relax and cum for me. You can do that, can’t you?” His lips pressed against Kaoru’s shoulder blade.

Kaoru couldn’t form the words he wanted to say, too overwhelmed by everything happening. Toshiya pumping his cock felt surreally natural and the way he filled him was the most blindingly pleasurable ache he’d ever experienced and he never wanted it to end, even as he felt his belly growing tighter with every thrust.

“That’s it,” Toshiya said, his hand tight around Kaoru’s length. He thrust into him a bit more quickly, more urgently. “Just let it all out, baby.”

Kaoru didn’t actually need to be told at this point, and in a matter of seconds he was half-screaming as he came over Toshiya’s hand. His arms wouldn’t support him anymore and helet himself fall forward, burying his face in the covers as he felt tears prickling his eyes. His whole body seemed to be buzzing in a nice kind of way and he honestly hardly noticed Toshiya following him over the edge as the last waves of his own orgasm worked through him.

He stayed where he was, taking deep breaths and just enjoying the come-down while he vaguely felt Toshiya pull carefully out of him, and heard him taking care of the condom. Then he was being pulled down more onto the bed to lie pressed against Toshiya.

“You with me?” Toshiya asked gently, leaning around to kiss Kaoru’s cheekbone.

“Mm.”

“You seem relaxed,” Toshiya said, and his smile was so audible Kaoru turned his head, cracking open his eyes to see it better.

“Very,” Kaoru said, smiling himself.

“Well, then, my work here is done!” Toshiya said, making to move like he was getting up from the bed.

“Where are you going!” Kaoru grabbed his arm, his eyes wide with dismay.

Toshiya laughed and leaned back in to kiss Kaoru’s cheek again. “Nowhere, baby, I’m right here with you.”

Kaoru leaned into Toshiya’s chest a bit more. “Good,” he said, letting his eyes close again. He really was relaxed. This was good. Toshiya was good, and he’d never known how he felt about pet names before, but somehow having Toshiya call him “baby” wasn’t off-putting in the least. He thought he could get used to it.

“Need anything?” Toshiya said, his fingers lacing with Kaoru’s as he held him close.

“Not a thing,” Kaoru said. His mind was still ambling over the strangeness of it all, that this had stemmed from what was technically, on his end at least, a blind date, and ended up being some of the best intimacy he’d ever experienced with anyone. He started to laugh quietly and Toshiya leaned back to see him better.

“All right, I’m not opposed to post-sex laughter, but I like to be in on it,” Toshiya said.

“You brought lube and condoms to a first date,” Kaoru said, calming himself down some. “To your first date with _me_!”

Toshiya blushed immediately and pulled Kaoru close again, hiding his face in his hair. “Well, hey, you never know! Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it! And depending on how it went, I thought I might never get another chance, so it was a risk I was willing to be embarrassed by.”

“I hope I didn't embarrass you,” Kaoru said. “And now you know you’ll get another chance.”

“Yeah?” Toshiya said.

“Many more chances,” Kaoru said. “I think I have to admit all of you were right. You seem to be… pretty good for me.” 

“Mm, good to know,” Toshiya said. “And here you thought you didn’t know how to date! Although, next time, maybe we’ll actually get dinner instead of skipping right to the sex.”

“You told me that was an acceptable way to go about things!”

“It was more than acceptable,” Toshiya said, “But. I’m pretty hungry now.”

“Worked up an appetite,” Kaoru said.

“I guess so,” Toshiya agreed, and he kissed the top of Kaoru’s head. 

Kaoru smiled to himself at how Toshiya didn’t seem to be able to stop himself from putting all these mindless little kisses all over him. He certainly wasn’t complaining. “In a little while, I’ll get up and see what all I’ve got in the fridge, how about that?”

“In a little while.”

Kaoru knew that little while wouldn’t come until after they’d both gotten a bit of sleep, but he didn’t mind one bit. Even if they’d been set up, there was something wonderfully organic about how things had progressed, about how he felt just being with Toshiya, and he didn’t bother setting an alarm to wake them up before he dozed off, secure in Toshiya’s arms.


End file.
